It's that time of the year again.
"The 2005 Apologists for Palestinian Terrorism Awards" are about to get underway.
The criteria for entrants remain as stringent as
ever. This usually means a total
disdain for historical facts, completely whitewashing over 25,000 Palestinian
terrorist attacks against
This years event, and in honour of the number of British
entrants competing this year, is taking place in
Ken Livingstone has just arrived and fortunately this
time ignores the press as he heads to his seat. He is not only a hot contender
for the award, but will be performing later with would be homicide bomber Jenny
Tonge, herself a firm favourite with the bookies. Check out this pair of apologists
as they team up later as Kenny and Jenny. The couple will be taking that
popular song "Something Stupid" to new heights of depravity, but unlike the
Sinatra's and Robbie Williams with the lovely Nicole Kidman this couple won't be
deploring the stupidity of love, but spoiling it all by saying
A few people will be surprised to see Sue Blackwell make
it to the event. After all between attempting to boycott
Here comes another newcomer, Daniel Machover. If you ever wondered how low you need to
go to put food on your table, Mr. Machover can give you plenty of insight into
this phenomenon. A lawyer in
Hot on the heels of Vanessa there is a real treat for the apologist this year, with Suha Arafat, not only providing one of the prizes, a framed photo of her late departed husband, but promising to bring the house down as she gives a poignant account of her years with Yasser. One thing's for sure, this isnít going to take long. After all Suha didnít spend more than five minutes with her husband their whole married life and lets face it four of them was while she was hovering protectively over him and his stolen billions as he breathed his last.
That brings us to Chris Patten, who in his position at
the EU, still claims he was unable to find any evidence of Palestinian funds
being diverted for terrorism. I suppose he is going to tell us that the
Palestinians raised it from all those sale and bake mornings ran by a few
resourceful women in
Kofi Annan, twice time winner is as usual offering this year's winner one of the night's biggest prizes. Not only a chance to sit in on the next security council vote against Israel and lets face it you donít usually have long to wait for them, but his generosity will enable this years winner to actually come up with a resolution of their own. Too bad they are usually vetoed by one of the few staunch members of the council that still uphold truth and human dignity, the United States. Still itís a prize worth going after and a chance to get together with the Ambassadors from Sudan, Syria etc later in the day to commiserate on the unfairness of it all.
Rumour is rife that George Galloway might make it to the
ceremony that is unless he is held up in some corner of the
Christian Aid is hoping to pull a fast one over the
Presbyterians this year, by taking the Group prize. These hardy Christians can
still bring a tear to every apologist's eye just by recalling their 2004
Christmas appeal. Dedicated to the children of the
This year the apologists will be able to retire during
the intermission to the bar, aptly called Planet Palestine. As usual drinks like
Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail and Screwdriver are all popular with the
apologists. No need to worry if you
drink too much, as this year sees the welcome addition of the much acclaimed
"Physicians for Human Rights".
These "humane" medics once described a Palestinian woman from
The apologists really are going to need a good drink so
they can enjoy
This year the apologists will be able to enjoy some good music, compliments of Daniel Barenboim. He has just arrived from Ramallah and tension will be mounting as he is set to perform a symphony he has written himself. Dedicated to the popular cult figure and Jihadist Rachel Corrie, this lovely musical adaptation has been named "Rachel Corrie Ė the unfinished symphony."
The Corries, now suing Caterpillar are sitting with Suha. They could have used their tragic loss in a way that could very well help save another young life from being so wasted by organizations like ISM. Preying on the gullible, they are seduced and tempted by hooded thugs into acting as decoys in dangerous war zones. Their power lies in romancing these youngsters into believing that blowing up Israeli children on buses and in pizza parlours is part of a noble and justifiable cause.
This year the Emerald Isle is sending there own
apologist. The bookies are not dismissing the luck of the Irish. The Dubliner,
which bills itself as 'The Definitive Guide to Irish Culture" seem to have a bad
case of culture confusion. Irish
Labor Minister Justin Keating submitted a scathing piece where he calls into
WellÖ.. here we go. Hanan Ashrawi has just moved the audience to tears with her heart wrenching tale of how one day she was playing innocently on her little swing, when the occupying forces swept into her garden, trampled the flowers, pulled down the swing and stole her land and dignity. She is being handed the envelope and in reverse order will soon be announcing this years winners. You can barely hear a pin drop.
One thing's for sure though, who ever wins this year, the only thing they are going to apologize for, is not for their blatantly one sided bias and narrow minded views.
The only thing this year's winner is going to apologize for is to the other apologists for winning
"The 2005 Apologists for Palestinian Terrorism Award"